


Delirium

by Writer_In_The_Dark



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-17 23:56:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17570369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_In_The_Dark/pseuds/Writer_In_The_Dark
Summary: The Doctor doesn't know how to ask for help. Even when she's in agony.Yaz isn't entirely sure how to help, she just knows she wants to. Has to. She loves the daft blonde alien too much to not.





	Delirium

**Author's Note:**

> I might make this a 2 part, but for now, I hope you like this one-shot!
> 
> Set just after The Tsuranga Conundrum.

The Doctor pushed open the Tardis door which had, kindly, already unlocked itself for her. She stumbled in, knees buckling under what felt like a tremendous weight on both her heart and mind.

"Doctor?" Yaz grasped at her arm, Ryan doing the same as they pulled her to her feet.

"I'll be alright in a bit gang" she waved them off, only to fall to the floor again as a sharp pain through her ribcage disoriented her.

" _Ow,_ " she groaned, "I don't think my kidneys are in the right place."

Graham shuffled past them, casting a sympathetic look over his shoulder.

"You should've let them help you, Doc, they _are_ doctors too after all."

She sniffed at the idea. She didn't need _help_ , she just needed her kidneys to move down a few inches and she'd be right as rain.

"That sonic mine really did a number on you, didn't it?"

It wasn't really a question, Yaz knew the answer. She had wanted to do something, _anything_ to help the Doctor as she had limped around the medship, rambling about finding her Tardis, but every time she got close she was pushed away to insistent assurances that she was fine.

Yaz looped the Doctor's arm around her neck and half-carried, half-dragged her over to the console, propping the blonde upright against it.

She was clutching at what Yaz assumed were her ribs, eyes darting restlessly. At one point she tried to move away, only to be pushed gently back against the console with a glare.

"Stay put. I'm going to get you a cuppa and some paracetamol" Yaz started to march off towards the kitchen, where she assumed Ryan and Graham were, before turning back around with a confused frown. The Doctor looked so sad, like a lost puppy, she just wanted to scoop her up in her arms and hold her, reassure her that she'd do everything in her power to make the pain stop because she recognised that look now, when the pain - be it physical or psychological - became too much for just a second and her smile slipped, and that nearly perfectly formed mask cracked for just a second before it was back on again. She recognised it, and it killed her every time.

She shook her head, as if that was going to clear the heaviness that had now invaded her mind. _How human_ , she couldn't help but internally chastise. She regained her thoughts - if she was going to get through this, whatever _this_ is, she'd have to put lovesick Yaz back in the closet and bring PC Khan out. She was level-headed and logical, and wouldn't let a stupid crush interfere with rational thinking.

"Do human drugs even work on you, Doctor?"

The blonde woman shook her head, stray pieces of blonde falling over her face before she tucked them behind her ear.

"I mean, I ate some _incredibly_ questionable mushrooms once" her nose scrunched up at the memory, "and spent the whole evening having an argument with a very rude llama, but other than that, not really. I'll be okay, Yaz. You don't need to look after me."

There it was again, that smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"But I want to."

There was something else that flickered in the Doctors eyes for a second at that - something Yaz couldn't quite read, despite her training. Hope? Comfort? Maybe that was just wishful thinking.

"A cuppa would be great then." It was quiet, like asking for a cup of tea was asking for help in its own right. Like she was giving in.

 

The Tardis kitchen was smaller than Yaz had expected it to be when she'd first seen it, what seemed like a lifetime ago now. It was a strangely perfect combination of cosy and futuristic the whole Tardis seemed to possess. Marble countertops on pristine white counters, but the walls were made from stone - at least it _looked_ like they were, and the floor was made from dark mahogany planks. It shouldn't really fit together, but it does, in a jumbled sort of way. Huddled over two steaming cups of tea, sat around the circular table in the corner of the kitchen were Ryan and Graham, playing a slow-paced game of chess.

"How is she?" Ryan asked as she rummaged around in the cupboards for tea, not looking up from the chess board.

Yaz sighed. She wasn't sure how to answer. She wasn't stupid, she knew the Doctor let her see just that little bit more than the other two, but she didn't know why, because it seemed like every time Yaz got close, the blonde just inched away, ready to run off and save some other poor damsel in distress at a moments notice.

She seemed great at that - focusing her attention everywhere but Yaz.

"She's strong." She slammed the mug down on the counter. "And an idiot."

"She doesn't like accepting help, love, no matter how good she is at giving it."

"It's selfish" she mumbled, stirring the tea. "What if something had happened to her and she-" Yaz caught herself just in time. It would just be plain insensitive to say something like that in front of Ryan and Graham so close to Grace's death.

"I just worry about her. We all do, I see it on your faces when she runs off, headfirst into danger."

"But that's who she is, love. She wouldn't be the Doctor if she wasn't risking her life to save everyone else's."

"I know that" she sighed, "and I wouldn't want her to change." She picked the mug up and turned back to the two men. "I should take this to her before she runs off again."

 

Yaz came back to find a pile of crumbs and broken biscuits scattered across the floor, and the Doctor slumped down against the console, definitely _not_ where she had left her.

"Really?" Yaz crouched down to where the doctor was sat with her legs splayed out, one hand clutching her side and the other grasping at the floor, groaning in pain.

"Was it worth it for the custard creams?"

Something that vaguely resembled a laugh, but sounded more like a choked sob came from the Doctor, who lifted her head, eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

"It's always worth it for the custard creams" she whispered, eyebrows creased in anguish.

"Doctor" Yaz gasped, putting down the forgotten tea to bring her hands up to the blonde's face. The Doctor had always been weird about touching Yaz - or at least that's what it felt like, what physical interactions they'd had were fleeting and somewhat awkward, but now she just seemed to melt into it, eyes fluttering closed when soft fingers tenderly wiped away any rogue tears that fell.

Yaz was in a state of near-shock. She'd seen the Doctor at her happiest, at her angriest - she'd even seen, briefly, the hard look that seemed to say 'I dare you to try and fight me', which she had oh so secretly hoped she'd see again because the Doctor was inexplicably beautiful when she looked like she could kill someone, and Yaz couldn't help but gravitate towards that darkness that seemed to be hiding under the sunshine exterior, although that was a problem for another day.

She'd seen all that, but she'd never seen the Doctor cry. She seemed close to it a few times, but never like this - never looking so defeated, slumped against the console, tears now flowing freely down her cheeks.

Yaz knew she was in pain, agony even if the scans she'd seen on the medship were anything to go by, but there seemed to be something more to the anguish written across her features.

"You're going to be okay, Doctor" she breathed, "I'm here, I'm not going to leave you alone." It was weak, she knew, but she felt like she had to say _something_ to try and comfort the Timelord.

"That's what I'm afraid of" the blonde admitted, looking up at her with glassy eyes. "Everyone I love leaves me." More tears fell, and with them so did Yasmin's heart.

"I'm scared I'll lose Ryan and Graham," she sniffed, wiping her eyes with her sleeve, "and I'm so scared I'll lose you. Smart, brilliant, beautiful Yasmin Khan, who I'd trust with my life."

Yas felt her face heat up with a blush so strong she was pretty sure she was glowing.

"I'm not all that, Doctor."

"Yes you are," she frowned, those puppy eyes wearing away at the last remnants of Yasmin's resolve, "you are to me."

Yaz studied her face, every beautiful inch, her fingers trailing delicately across the shell of a pierced ear where a gold chain hung from her helix, down the sharp line of her jaw, coming to rest gently on her chin, holding it in place to ensure the Doctor was looking at her.

"Listen to me, Doctor" she started, swallowing down her anxieties. "Graham isn't going anywhere. Ryan isn't going anywhere. And you couldn't get rid of me even if you wanted to."

The Doctor gave her a watery smile and Yaz felt her grasp at her top, pulling her forward into a hug. Her breath hitched when she felt warm hands trail into warmth inside her jacket, the Doctor's hands fastening around her waist. She hid her face in soft, blonde hair, willing her heart rate to go back to normal when the Doctor mirrored her actions and buried her face in the crook of her neck, little puffs of air skimming across her skin as her soft sobs died down to quiet, pained whimpers.

Yaz pulled away long minutes later when the sounds became too much for her to bear without doing something stupid like _confessing her undying love_ for the erratic blonde alien.

She stalled when the hands around her waist didn't loosen, mere inches from the Doctor's face. They were so close she could feel gentle breaths glide over her lips.

Yaz's gaze flickered from the green eyes to pouty lips, unsure of what to do.

 _Would kissing her be taking advantage?_ A million thoughts raced through her head, and Yaz was unable to separate what she _wanted_  to do from what she _should_ do.

Her reeling mind was silenced when the Doctor's lips landed on hers. It was feather light, hesitant, and when Yaz didn't react, she pulled back, puppy eyes guiltily cast downward.

"Sorry, Yaz, I don't know what I-"

She pulled the blonde back in, cradling her face. Their lips met and Yaz felt like she was underwater. The usual sounds of the Tardis were dulled, and all she could taste, all she could hear, all she could _feel_ was the Doctor, the object of her affection since the blonde alien literally _fell_ into her life.

It was soft and sweet, the Doctor's hands inching under Yaz's top, stroking the soft skin there.

" _Doctor_ " Yaz whimpered against her lips as soft fingers traced her ribs.

They reluctantly pulled away when breathing became too difficult - even the Doctor, who claimed she could hold her breath for an hour, was panting softly against Yaz's neck as she pressed soft kisses there.

"Doctor" Yaz breathed, dazed but still vaguely aware of the alien's condition.

She reluctantly pulled her away from peppering kisses along the column of her throat.

"Doctor, you're still hurt." She was going for firm, but her voice wavered too much and she just sounded breathless.

"I feel better now" she shrugged, wincing in pain when the movement jolted her.

"Sure" Yaz chuckled, "come on, Rocky, let's get you to bed."

The Doctor grumbled something under her breath but still looped her arm around Yaz's neck, clinging to her leather jacket as they shuffled down from the control room and into the corridor. The Tardis often moved the rooms around, Yaz had found out to her dismay one night after she came back to the Tardis early to crash after a particularly gruelling shift, wandering around the corridors for 20 minutes until she found her room. It was, however, sympathetic for the clumsy alien, and her room was only the third one down.

The Doctor snapped her fingers as they neared it and the doors creaked open for them, Yaz pushing them open the rest of the way.

She should be used to things like this by now, the brilliance of the Doctor, but it still amazed her every time. She wondered if this is what being in love feels like.

The woman in her arms was getting limper with each passing second, and Yaz managed to lay her down on the large bed just before she collapsed entirely. She helped the blonde shuffle back and under the covers, after pulling her coat off.

"I'm going to take this off, okay?" she tugged gently at the Doctor's top, pulling it over her head when she gave her a dazed nod. She pulled the white undershirt off her too, leaving her in a simple white bra. Yaz let herself have a couple of seconds of shameless staring before she pulled the covers down, gasping when she saw the bright bruises that had blossomed across the Doctor's ribcage.

"Doctor!" she blinked back sudden tears that threatened to fall. It looked _so_ painful.

"I'll be okay in the morning" the blonde mumbled struggling to stay conscious, "I heal much faster than humans."

Yaz's eyes darted around the Doctor's room, taking in the piles of _stuff_ , half-finished projects and mathematical equations scribbled on a blackboard in the corner of the room, but for all of the Doctor's things, relics of past adventures, there was nothing that looked like it could soothe her pain.

As if the timelord could read her thoughts, she blindly reached out for Yaz's hand, curling her fingers around it with what little strength she had left.

"Cuddle" she huffed out, tugging at her arm.

"Doctor, I should find you a first aid kit or something..."

Green eyes peered at her from behind a curtain of blonde hair, and _how could she say no to a face like that?_

"Okay," Yaz relented, climbing under the covers behind the Doctor. She wasn't sure what to do or where to put her hands, laying stiffly behind the Doctor, before the blonde reached over for her hand and pulled an arm around her. Yaz's hand settled tenderly on the soft skin of the Doctor's stomach, her splayed fingers drawing gentle patterns, careful to avoid the bruises covering her left side. She felt the Doctor lean back, moulding herself to fit the curves of Yaz's body, and it was all she could do to keep her heart rate steady as their bodies pressed flush against each other.

Everything she'd dared to dream about was finally happening, even if they did have to get blown up by a mine to be able to touch the Doctor the way she'd been longing to.

She buried her face in blonde hair, in an almost trance-like state as the Doctor's gentle sounds of contentment levelled out to deep, even breaths.

Yaz stayed awake for another hour, enjoying the way her hand would rise and fall with the Doctor's breaths, the double thumping of steady heartbeats faint under her fingertips.

Yaz's last thought before she drifted into a deep, peaceful sleep was that there was no need for flashes of blonde and green and thrumming blue in her dreams tonight, because she had everything she could possibly want curled up in her arms.


End file.
